


broken pieces (is this what is left of us?)

by jun8th



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Kim Mingyu is a Sweetheart, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Xu Ming Hao | The8-centric, breaking up, junhao drifting apart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:01:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26007658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jun8th/pseuds/jun8th
Summary: Junhui leaving Minghao and Mingyu gathering up his broken pieces to put them back together again.
Relationships: Kim Mingyu/Xu Ming Hao | The8, Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	broken pieces (is this what is left of us?)

Minghao has always stuck to Junhui, kinda like super glue. Wherever Junhui was, Minghao would always be right there next to him. Minghao’s presence has always been a sort of reassurance to him. To know that the younger would always be there by his side comforts him. And he knows that Minghao feels exactly the same.

He has told Junhui countless times that he’s glad that he has Junhui around as someone he could always rely on, someone he could always lean on whenever he’s feeling down. And perhaps it just came on naturally but as soon as they spend more and more time with together, feelings start to develop. Feelings that exceed friendship, feelings that even exceed brotherhood—romantic feelings. Really, it was their own little secret.

Behind the stage curtains, turned away from the audience, turned away even from their own fellow members, they’d share secret kisses. Sometimes during shooting, they’d let their fingers brush with each other for a bit too long, only to inevitably intertwine them with one another under the guise of simple fanservice. And the smiles they would share with each other, different from ones they would share to anyone else. The sparkle in their eyes as soon as they saw each other, one that is unmistakably love.

Minghao was, is and will always be special to Junhui. He just simply has a special place in his heart, a place that is irreplaceable, one that is reserved only for one Xu Minghao and no one else.

Junhui was also special to Minghao. That much, Junhui knew.

Which is why he didn't know how it happened. He didn't know how they fell apart. Hell, he didn't even know when they started to fall apart.

Perhaps it was when Minghao started to change. When he became more confident, more dazzling and he shone even brighter than ever before. That change surely turned everything on its head. The spotlight directed on Minghao only manages to drown Junhui out in the shadows.

Of course, Minghao would turn around to smile at Junhui, to thank him and to tell him that he was able to do all this thanks to his guidance. But before he knew it, Junhui was gone. Maybe a part of Junhui was jealous of Minghao, maybe he wanted Minghao to share that spotlight with him. But deep down, he was insecure, he felt unworthy to stand by Minghao's side now that he seems to be a part of a world that Junhui can no longer reach.

Minghao loved Junhui. He couldn't understand why his lover would abandon him like this right after he achieved his success. He was distraught, of course. Junhui just kept on avoiding him right after.

There were no more stolen kisses behind the stage curtains, no more stifled giggles as they kiss, afraid of being caught. There were no more of those special smiles they would exchange to one another. Hell, Junhui wouldn't even do as much as look at Minghao anymore. He would purposefully avert his gaze when talking to him. His way of speaking changed too. It used to be gentle, sweet, lilting with fondness. But now, it was switched for a tone that Minghao doesn't even recognize anymore. It's cold, harsh. Something that simply doesn't belong with Junhui.

Minghao changed, but so did Junhui. Junhui became colder, started to treat Minghao like a stranger.

And this hurt Minghao. A lot. But, he didn't say anything. Perhaps it was a mistake on his behalf, yet who can blame him? He was scared. Scared of ruining what they have left. So he stayed quiet.

Little by little, their relationship came crumbling down. Soon, their secret became but a thing of the past. Junhui even started treating it like it never existed, like he never fell in love with Minghao. Like that moment in his life was merely a figment of his imagination, a fleeting daydream perhaps.

Minghao felt lonely and rather empty without _his_ Junhui around. He would turn to his side but Junhui wasn't there anymore. Sometimes, he would try to brush their fingers together, yet Junhui would immediately pull away. He would put on his best grin for him yet all he gets back is a nervous laughter paired with a cold glare.

One night after a long day of shooting, Minghao couldn't bear it anymore. So he started crying. He cried into the sheets of the hotel bed, choked sobs and broken "I'm sorry's" spilling out of his throat. He tried to keep his voice down at first, not wanting his roommate Mingyu to be awoken. But he finds it difficult to adjust the volume of his voice, especially at a time like this.

He didn't even notice the bed dipping as Mingyu sat on it and he slowly peels the thick, fluffy white blanket from him. Minghao turns around, his face flushed red and covered with a mix of snot and tears. His sight was blurred out with the amount of tears pooling up in his eyes, but he could tell Mingyu was worried.

"I'm fine! I'm okay! I'm sorry," Minghao immediately rasped out before Mingyu could say anything, his voice coming out way too scratchy for his liking. His voice tapers off as he repeats his apology. He covers his face with his hands, letting the tears spill out there, dampening his fingers.

Mingyu opens his mouth, but closes it again. He gently picks Minghao's hands up from his face and places them on his shoulders. Minghao wants to fight back, to push him away as he is ashamed. But he can't seem to find the strength in him to do it. So, Minghao obeys, lets Mingyu do whatever he wants.

To his surprise, Mingyu pulls him into a tight, warm hug. Minghao's breath hitches. He wraps his arms around Mingyu's neck. They stayed like that for a while, not exchanging any words. It was silent save for the sounds of Minghao's occasional sobs. Mingyu rubs Minghao's back in order to comfort him. Then he broke the silence.

"Look, Hao, I don't know what you're going through right now, but I promise you everything's going to be okay, okay?"

And his voice. It sounds so gentle, so soft, so reassuring. It melts away Minghao's doubts, making him believe every word of it.

"Okay," Minghao manages to squeak out, his voice barely a whisper. They stay in that hug for a while, Minghao not wanting to let go of the warmth engulfing him. Mingyu was about to let go but Minghao grips on his shoulders.

"Don't go, please," he pleads. Mingyu smiles and tucks a stray hair behind Minghao's ear.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise," Mingyu whispers, pushing Minghao down to the bed gently, his arms still circled around the younger's back. Minghao nuzzles into Mingyu's neck and mouths a "thank you" onto his skin. Mingyu flinches at the sudden contact and let out a soft chuckle as he places his hand onto Minghao’s head to rub on it softly.

“Now sleep, we still have schedules tomorrow,” Mingyu mutters into Minghao’s hair, placing a soft kiss there. Minghao nods, his hands settled onto Mingyu’s chest as he drifts off to sleep.

**

The next morning, Minghao wakes up to the familiar warmth surrounding his body. He rubs his eyes and yawns. Maybe Junhui leaving him was all just a terrible nightmare. After all, why would he still be by Minghao’s side in the morning like this, like usual?

“Junhui?” he croaks out, his voice still rather hoarse from all the crying last night. Mingyu lets out a pained chuckle and the unfamiliar voice makes Minghao widen his eyes as he grows fully awake. So, it was not a nightmare.

“Fuck, Mingyu, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I—“

“It’s fine, Hao,” he smiles, caressing Minghao’s cheek softly, “did something happen between you and Junhui hyung?”

Minghao opens his mouth to speak, but closes it again, unable to form the right words to describe what happened between them. He looks at Mingyu with a puzzled look, but his eyes could not hide the pain that he is feeling.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” Mingyu reassures him.

“No, you’re fine,” Minghao takes a deep breath and exhales it out slowly. Mingyu looks at him patiently, waiting for Minghao to be ready to speak again.

“It’s just that.. I feel like he—he threw me away?” Minghao feels that familiar lump in his throat as his voice tapers off. Mingyu shushes him and makes to hug him. He traces tiny circles on Minghao’s back, hoping that the motion would calm him down.

“I’m sorry, Gyu, I’m kinda a mess right now,” Minghao laughs but his expression is pained.

“It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it, you know? I’ll still be there for you no matter what,” Mingyu says again, his voice dripping with concern. Minghao nods as he tries to swallow away that lump in his throat. He tries to speak but nothing came out of his throat.

“I’m sorry,” that was all Minghao could manage out after a short period of silence. He doesn’t even know to what, or to whom he’s apologizing to. He just keeps on repeating those two words like a mantra, hoping that it would fix everything. But he knows it wouldn’t. The world is just too cruel to let that happen. Minghao looks down at his trembling fists which are now balled up against Mingyu’s crumpled shirt. He shuts both his eyes in order to prevent those tears from falling. He doesn’t want to fall apart anymore. He doesn’t want to feel like this anymore.

“Minghao,” Mingyu’s voice is soft, barely a whisper, as he caresses Minghao’s face slowly so he would look at him. Minghao slowly opens his eyes and his heart melts when he sees the expression in Mingyu’s eyes. They’re filled with sorrow, concern and perhaps even love. Minghao nods, allowing Mingyu to continue.

“It’s alright. So you need to stop apologizing, alright? It’s not your fault. It never was and it never will be,” he says slowly but firmly. How does Mingyu manage to do this all the time? To make Minghao believe in every word he says, even if his words sound like utter nonsense right now.

“Mingyu, listen. I don’t wanna feel like this anymore.”

“Like what?”

“Like.. This pain that is deeply rooted in my heart. I want it to go away. Can you make it go away, Gyu, please?” Minghao’s voice sounds so desperate that Mingyu can _feel_ the pain in his voice.

Mingyu wants to tell him that he could do it, that he could erase Minghao’s pain, even for just a moment, but his voice stays stuck in the back of his throat. He couldn’t get them out, because deep down, he knows that he _can’t._ He gives Minghao an apologetic look and runs his fingers through the younger’s soft locks. Minghao looks up at him, his eyes filled with so much sadness that Mingyu can feel his own heart shatter at this sight.

“What can I do to help you, Hao? What _should_ I do to make the pain go away?” Mingyu asks slowly, his words coming out heavy, but he means it. He genuinely wants his friend to stop being this _hurt_. He only wants to see Minghao smile again. Minghao furrows his brows and shuts his eyes to think. He can feel his own heart pounding uncomfortably in his chest. His eyes shine when he finds his answer, his lips curled into a tight, forced smile. This isn’t the smile Mingyu was looking for, but he’d take it.

“Just, stay here with me, please? And don’t leave me alone,” Minghao says softly, his words coming out within shaky breaths. His hands grip tightly towards Mingyu’s shirt and he could clearly see that Minghao’s hands are trembling.

“Of course, Hao, I’ll always be here for you,” Mingyu says as he pulls Minghao into a tight, warm hug.

They stay like that for a while until there is a knock on the door which startled the both of them. The knocks stopped for a second before resuming again. Mingyu glances at the door, then he looks at Minghao with concern.

“It’s okay, Gyu, just answer the door,” Minghao gestures towards the door, soft giggles bubbling out of him, making Mingyu’s heart skip a beat too fast.

“But then I’d be leaving you alone,” Mingyu pouts.

“It’s fine, it’s only for a while, right? I’ll manage, don’t worry,” Minghao puts on the best smile he could muster and Mingyu has to fight the urge to kiss him right then and there.

“Okay, if you’re sure. Just call me if you can’t take it anymore, okay?” Mingyu releases Minghao from his arms and Minghao nods.

Mingyu gets off the bed and only manages to walk three paces before he glances at Minghao to make sure he’s okay. Minghao chuckles at this and gives him the okay sign. Mingyu grins at him and continues walking towards the door. He removes the lock and opens it to find a rather upset Seungcheol behind the door. The leader has his arms crossed and he has a frown etched on his face.

“Cheol hyung, what’s up?” Mingyu asks, rather surprised to see the leader _this_ upset.

“Don’t “what’s up” me when you both are 15 minutes late to the group breakfast! We only have 30 minutes before we should be on our way to our next schedule!”

“We’re _what_?” Mingyu asks, eyes widened.

Seungcheol was about to open his mouth to continue scolding him, but Mingyu cuts him before he can utter a single word.

“Wait, hyung, before you continue yelling at me, I can give you a good reason on why we’re late.”

Seungcheol sighs and nods, signalling Mingyu to go on.

“Minghao’s.. not feeling great. I actually would like to personally request that he is taken out of this schedule until he feels better.”

The frown on Seungcheol’s face immediately twists into that of concern.

“Is he okay? Should we call the doctors?”

“I think he should be fine after some rest, so I think it’d be wiser that he is sent home right after he eats his breakfast.”

Seungcheol thinks about it for a moment.

“Alright, I’ll work something out for that. I trust that you’ll keep him company then?”

“But, our schedules—“

“It’s fine, we’re a team remember? We’ll cover for the both of you, so don’t worry too much about it,” Seungcheol pats his shoulder reassuringly, “besides, I get this feeling that he needs someone by his side more than anything right now.”

“How did you know that?” Mingyu asks dumbfounded.

“Leader’s intuition,” Seungcheol grins at him.

“Sure,” Mingyu mumbles underneath his breath. “So, can I be excused now?”

“Yes, the two of you can take your time with breakfast, I’ll talk it out with the manager later. I think I can pull some strings and order the two of you a cab or something.”

“Okay, thank you, hyung, I owe you one!”

“What are you saying? I’m just performing my duty as a leader and that is to take care of all of you,” he winks at Mingyu, who sticks his tongue out at him. He chuckles and continues, “Tell Minghao to get plenty of rest, alright? And tell him not to overwork himself.”

“Will do, hyung,” Mingyu makes an okay sign with both his hands.

“Good,” Seungcheol offers him another one of his bright gummy smiles. Mingyu smiles back and waves at him, signaling for him to leave.

He then returns back into the hotel room and finds Minghao with his pillow wrapped tightly in between his arms.

“I talked to Seungcheol hyung, he says we’re getting the day off today,” Mingyu says in a tone that was perhaps way too excited. It has been a while since they’ve gotten a proper amount of rest, after all. He was expecting Minghao to be as excited as him, but it turns out that he was wrong.

Minghao started fiddling with his fingers and the grip around his pillow loosens a little bit.

“What’s wrong, Hao?” Mingyu asks as he sits down next to his friend.

“No, it’s just—I feel kinda bad, for the others I mean,” Minghao replies, his voice a little muffled against the soft pillow pressed against his lips.

“No, you shouldn’t be! Seungcheol hyung even told you to rest up and to stop overworking yourself!”

“Yeah, but I feel like I keep becoming a burden to everyone else instead,” he takes a deep breath, “especially you.”

“Minghao, you aren’t a burden! You’re just every bit as special as everyone else, I just hope that you can see this as well,” Mingyu’s expression turns into what’s best described as a kicked puppy.

“…Thank you, Gyu, I really appreciate that,” Minghao smiles at him and Mingyu swore his heart just leapt towards his throat.

“I-it’s no problem at all!” Mingyu said hurriedly as he gets off the bed, “I think what’s best for us now is some breakfast, wouldn’t you agree?”

Minghao looks down and wraps his arms a little tighter around the pillow.

“Hao?” Mingyu asks in a small voice, his eyes following Minghao’s line of sight towards the floor.

“Hey, you’ll be just fine, okay? I’m here for you, after all,” Mingyu says gently to him as he lifts his face with both his hands. Minghao nods.

“Now, come on,” Mingyu offers his hand towards Minghao and he takes it. No words has to be said, Mingyu just has to look at Minghao’s eyes to know his answer. He likes that about his friendship with him, it’s almost telepathic sometimes. Like, they always knew what each other are thinking about without having to voice it out.

And perhaps, Mingyu just wants a little bit more out of their relationship. He would be lying if he said that he didn’t have a crush on his own best friend. But he knew that no matter how much he tried to hide it, Minghao was deeply in love with Junhui. So, he just left it at that. He didn’t particularly get a heartbreak since it really was just a fleeting crush.

After spending the last night with Minghao, taking care of him, and what with Minghao showing his more vulnerable side to him, it relights those feelings inside him again.

Only this time, it burns even brighter than ever before.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed it <3  
> also special thanks to isa who really helped me out in writing this ily <3


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